The parent trap

We’ve all read all those great blogs full of tips for GM’s, but I’d posit that the harder part is realizing where you are resistant to change, and why you do what you do.

By deep, deep introspection, I have realised that even I have shortcomings. I know, it seems impossible, but hang on and I’ll tell you all about it.

My problem is one of flexibility.

This inflexibilty can become very apparent when I run a module, which is mainly what I GM nowadays, when sessions are few and far between, and just going with the flow gets interrupted by life. In the past, when sessions were an entire weekend and my players just fucked around all over Middle-Earth, Faerûn, or some other world made up on the spot, it was easier to react to the players. There was less of a goal and more about finding out.

That kind of free gaming led to things like an epic campaign like the Kin-Strife being added, and then thrown out a couple of hours later when the group decided that we’d rather go and explore far Harad instead because we heard that there’s a Nazgûl there and we’re gonna go put ants in it’s pants.

Nowadays, the published campaign can be more of the goal than the free-roaming headless chickens of the past. It’s more like hey, let’s play the U-boat mystery, or how about Chariot of the gods or why not just play something like Ruins of Undermountain?

Now all of these are pretty great modules, I love one-shots, I love epic campaigns in dungeons, and great political campaigns where the players just try to make sure a kingdom survives/is toppled/gets under new management.

What triggers my inflexibility is reading through the module a couple of times, and then my brain decides that yup some of these things are set in stone.

Let me give you an example.

In GMing the U-boat mystery the other week, my players got to Sitomeyang and followed up on some clues. The module has the info being available in the dock office, but the players instead wanted to question the old, smoking, bearded men on a bench that look at the harbour all day. Perfectly reasonable. Those dudes should have a bunch of info, all they do is sit there. But my brain was all “nope, that info is in the office”. So they got a whole less info than was available, but having the old men giving it out would have been reasonable.

Thinking about it, this kind of lock reminded me of the stress of parenting when you’ve decided that this is how this day is gonna go, we’re gonna get dressed, kids are gonna get to school, I’m gonna get to work, this is the weather, this is the clothes we’re gonna put on today. And then suddenly you have two kids running the opposite ways, one wants to have shorts on, the other wants a crown, and the weather outside is sideways sleet and suddenly the entire morning is spent threatening, bribing, cajoling unwilling participants into coveralls.

What could have been flexible suddenly becomes locked in due to stress making your thinking linear. Instead of being able to go “Yes, but the crown has to go on your beanie” or “Yes, but you have to have long johns under your shorts” ends up with neither part getting what they want and a bad mood.

I talked a bit about this on Bluesky, and there were some good tips for those situations. Maybe not the parenting parts, but it might fit there as well:

• Take a break. Take 10, take a bathroom break, refill the snacks, get some coffee. Let yourself work on possible outcomes on the players solutions and why it is just as ok as the printed solution.
• When you read a module, and there seems like it presents a single solution, add some of your own. What if this info could also be found here, of what if this room didn’t have to be entered. That way, maybe you’re less locked in yourself.
• When prepping, just identify the challenges that you think might come up, but skip the solutions. Let the players come up with some suggestions instead. I find this a bit harder in modules, but I bet others find it easier.

So yeah, flexibility is good, and as any other skill, it can be trained. I know I have some work to do there.